Zombies!
by SSMcPriceley
Summary: Zombies start to attack the mission hut with all the elders inside it! Just a bit of fun, inspired by an asktheelders post.
1. Chapter 1

It was just another normal evening at the mission centre. None of the elders knew or could even have guessed at that point the ways in which their district would change that night. By the morning they would have to find a new definition for the word normal.

The Ugandan sun had set several hours before but heat still forced its way into every corner of the small hut making the place feel like a cramped oven.

The day had passed uneventfully, Arnold had told his stories to whoever would listen and the rest of them would follow round after correcting and making sure everybody understood the stories.

Elder Cunningham had the habit of going a bit crazy with his narrative. They didn't mind so much any more about the 'lies' but they needed at the very least for the villagers to understand the basic concept of the tales.

Proselytizing had been pretty slow that day and no one seemed to mind returning to the hut to relax. Elder McKinley and Elder Church were playing go fish in the middle of the floor, lying face down their feet crossed and kicking in the air.

Elder Schrader, Elder Thomas and Elder Price were crammed onto the small and worn sofa with Arnold cross legged on the floor in front of them. They were trying to make some connection with the Book of Mormon and the new Book of Arnold.

The room was mostly silent save for the soft buzz of mosquitoes from the open window and the occasional cry of "go fish!" or one of the Elders coming across something in their religious texts.

"Hey guys guys!" Arnold said excitedly, "The Starship Enterprise is actually a metaphor for heaven!" He looked up expectedly just missing the Elders sharing a look and sighing in unison. "Because, you know, the Book of Mormon mentions stars a lot and stuff and heavens nice and so is the Starship Enterprise. It's the place to be."

"What do you think Connor?" Elder Price appealed to their District Leader. Elder McKinley looked up from his game of cards and shrugged. "Teach them whatever works Arnold".

Ever since Elder McKinley had stopped turning it off he had become lax in other rules as well. He'd been one of the first to see that what Arnold was doing was better for the villagers than what they had been trying and failing to do for months before he arrived.

Kevin raised his eyebrows and pouted. "But don't you think it would be better if the texts worked in conjunction. I mean it has to make sense"

"Arnold knows what he's doing. Have you got any spades?"

"Connor!"

"Leave it Kevin" Elder Schrader patted him on the arm and let out a yawn. "This is so tedious, let's all just play cards."

Elder Thomas nodded in eagerly and slid off the sofa, onto his knees until he was lying on his front in one smooth motion. "Would you mind dealing again Connor?"

"Sure. Who's in?" he looked around at the other Elders in the room. They all gathered round except Kevin who remained where he was.

"It's only because he was losing, I've never seen a worse player of go fish". Elder Church said a little resentfully to Connor. The District Leader stuck his tongue out and lifted himself up onto his elbows to look at Kevin.

"You playing Kevin?" Connor said. Self appointed SuperMormon shook his head turning back to the Book of Mormon, leaving the fourth part of their bible lying neglected on the floor. "You can sit next to me if you like" he patted the threadbare rug beside him.

Elder Price glanced up from his scripture to find every member of their district twisted round from their positions as a black and white star on the floor to stare at him. "Fine. One game"

Arnold gave a half cheer and awkwardly shifted to make room for Kevin between him and Connor.

Elder Price played a tough game of go fish, slamming the cards down and yelling as he made groups. The other elders shared looks remembering now why no one liked to play games with him.

"Kevin!" Elder Zelder spoke up as a particularly violent placing of a card on Kevin's part had caused the deck to collapse.

"Elder Cunningham, please keep your mission companion under control" Connor said without looking up from his cards.

"Elder McKinley, please keep your boyfriend under control" Arnold said calmly.

"Shhhh Kevin, it's just cards" Elder McKinley gently stroked Kevin's tense shoulders before moving his hand to ruffle the perfectly styled brunette hair.

"Don't touch it!"

Elder McKinley sighed and rebuilt the deck of cards. "Poptarts it's your turn"

The tiny man, whose feet stuck out behind him a good distance shorter than the others, fanned his cards thoughtfully. "Elder Neeley, do you have any hearts?" "Go fish". He reached a hand forward to pick another card but was interrupted by a loud thump that caused the deck to spill again.

"Kevin!"

"It wasn't me that time!"

"I know I just wanted a reason to shout at you" the little man smiled to himself with internal triumph.

"It was probably just an animal or something" Connor calmly moved the cards back into a pile and gestured to Elder Thomas to go again. But once again as he reached for a card another thump, louder this time, closer, ran through the hut and jolted the cards from their perfectly formed tower.

Elder Cunningham screamed causing Elder Schrader and Price beside him to recoil at the high pitched sound. Connor was already on his feet and moving towards the window which was draped with a thin piece of patterned cloth blowing gently in the breeze created from the open window.

The District Leader slowly pulled back the material but all he could see was darkness. "There's nothing there. Lets carry-" he froze motionless. He blanched, his red hair becoming much more noticeable. A strange howling moan had come from the other side of the window.

"Close it close it close it!" Elder Church shrieked. Elder McKinley spun round and pulled the window shut putting the fragile wooden bolt across.

The Elders were all looking unusually pale, glancing among each other with looks of fear on their faces. "As I said, an animal or something" Connor was trying desperately to remain collected.

"That's one messed up animal" Elder Schrader said sceptically.

Elder Cunningham was quivering, his palms sweating. "Nathan Lane is out there" his voice shook slightly. The other Elders couldn't help from smirking a little even though they were all a little terrified at the unknown animal outside.

Kevin put an arm over his best friends shoulder comfortingly, "Nabalungi" he emphasised the word "will be just fine".

Arnold sniffed and nodded "But what was that thing?"

"Maybe…" Poptarts began mischievously "it was Zombies"

Nothing could have prepared the elders for the eruption that was to follow. "OH MY GOSH! ZOMBIES! WHAT DO WE DO? NECROPHILIA'S OUT THERE WITH ZOMBIES! I MUST SAVE HER!" he careered towards the door with the strength to break through. Kevin managed to pull him back slightly and the rest of the job of stopping him was left to Elder Zelder who just happened to be in his path. The three of them collapsed on the floor, Arnold still shrieking and flailing.

Elder McKinley shot daggers at Poptarts. "There are no zombies!" he spoke in his most commanding district leader voice. "Really Elder McKinley?" Arnold sniffled quieting down a bit.

"There are no zombies in Africa. Zombies do not exist." There was a moment of silence as the elders all looked at each other the fear subsiding until there was another moan from outside.

"OH MY GOSH ZOMBIES AAAA-" Elders Zelder and Neeley both clamped their hands over his mouth until the cries stopped coming.

"For Heavenly Father's sake will you just shut up Arnold!" Connor looked surprised at himself, "I mean please be a little quieter. It's just an animal"

"Strangest animal I've ever heard" Elder Schrader said.

"That's because it wasn't an animal. It was a zombie" Poptarts was grinning enjoying the hysteria.

Elder Cunningham opened his mouth to shriek again but Connor interjected before he could begin. "No! No zombies! No no no Zombies. You are not helping Elder Thomas, maybe this is our cue for us all to go to bed."

"How do you explain the zombie sounds surrounding the house Mother McKinley?"

"They are not zombie sounds!" No sooner had the words left his mouth that the wailing moan came again, but this time it was not alone. Several moans came one after the other and as they finished the elders all shared a look that said something like 'let's not rule out the possibility of zombies ok? But no one mention them ok? Ok.'

A knock at the door caused every single member of the room to jump and whip their heads round to the noise.

"Scared Price?" Poptarts probed.

"Not on your life Thomas."

"Why don't you answer the door then?"

Kevin hesitated then marched towards the door and placed his hand on the door handle. He turned to face the room "Look everyone. This is me opening the door."

"Go on then"

"Ok. See I have my hand on the handle. I'm going to open it any moment now."

"Get on with it" Poptarts had taken a seat on the sofa and had reclined to watch the fun.

"Sure. Sure…just let me….um…" another sharp load knock on the door caused him to yelp before he collected himself.

"What are you afraid of Price?" Poptarts giggled maliciously "Wild animals don't knock on doors"

Kevin turned the handle a millimetre.

"I'm not sure about zombies though"

"Connor make him shut up!"

"No. You open the door you chicken" Connor smirked, his arms folded. "Like he said wild animals don't knock"

Kevin scowled but took a deep breath and turned the handle to reveal a person on the darkened step.

"Oh Elder Price thank goodness!" Nabalungi flung herself into the hut breathlessly and shut the door behind her. "I thought no one was going to answer the door!"

The elders all stared accusingly at Kevin who ignored them "What happened?"

"You will not believe this but there are these things out there" she made her way over to Arnold who held his arms out for her. She rested her head on his chest as he stroke her curls. "I thought they were going to eat me!"

"You see. Wild animals"

"Oh no Elder McKinley. Not wild animals." She looked around at the other elders and whispered the next word, "Zombies"

She winced as Arnold screamed over the top of her head. The other elders all started screaming and panicking at the news.

Elder Church was rocking back and forth on the floor saying some sort of prayer.

Elder Neeley and Elder Schrader began grabbing bits of furniture, pillows and cards to barricade the door, resorting to just throwing things at it in their haste.

Elder Zelder just stood still screaming and flailing his arms around.

Elder Price and Elder McKinley had run into each other for a tight embrace, both men white with terror.

Only Elder Thomas remained on the sofa and mouthed softly:

'Zombies. Told you so.'


	2. Chapter 2

After the strange yet terrifying news had settled in the Elders one by one began to calm down. Finally only Elder Neeley was left flailing and squealing. A quick slap from Elder Thomas caused him to snap out of his panic.

"What was that for Chris?" He panted his face smarting red.

"You needed to shut up" Poptarts replied coolly.

"OMGosh Chris! You were the one trying to provoke Arnold literally less than a minute ago!" Elder Schrader stuck his arm around his mission companion's shoulder.

"Well that was before there were real zombies outside!"

"What are we going to do?" Elder Neeley asked the group leaning closer into his companions arm.

"Arnold has a zombie plan." Nabalungi put forward, everyone turned to look at the embracing pair. "You told me about it once remember? In great detail"

"Watching a tonne of b rated zombie flicks does not count as a zombie plan" Connor scorned.

"Just because you cried at I Am Legend" Arnold retorted.

"Oh come on that film was so sad"

"Well what's your suggestion?"

"This was not in my job description" the district leader pressed himself closer into Kevin who had his arms wrapped round him from behind. The Elders had all formed tight huddles as if their closeness for so long caused an instinctive protectiveness for each other.

Arnold gazed hopelessly at the door. The area around it was littered with an assortment if items including the cards, several copies of both the Book of Mormon and the Book of Arnold, ties, pillows and a potted plant. "We should probably fix that first. What were you guys thinking?" He asked the Elders responsible.

"Sorry we just panicked" Elder Neeley said sheepishly bending over to pick up the tie he had taken off and chucked at the door in his blind hysteria.

Elder Church went over to the battered wooden table and held one end. "A little help anyone?"

Kevin strode over "It's ok I've got this" he picked up the table singlehandedly and propped it against the door creating a sturdy barricade.

"Now what?" Connor addressed the room, "We're surrounded by zombies what do we do?"

"Don't worry Connor I'll protect you"

"Thanks superman" Connor smiled at his boyfriend and went back to their protective position, Connor drawing the taller man's arms over the top of his shoulders.

"Hey Naba, I'll protect you too ok?"

Arnold said quickly in his manliest voice, never one to be topped by Kevin Price.

"Seriously guys? Sorry to break up the love fest but have you all forgotten about the zombies? What the hell are we going to do?"

"Language Elder Michaels!"

"Sorry Elder McKinley"

"Well are we going to fight or defend?" Arnold interjected.

"I'm not letting anyone leave this building. No one is going to be fighting any zombies"

"Then what do we do Connor? Have you seen how we all act in a crisis? We are the most useless bunch of people"

"No hang on one second Elder Cunningham" Kevin said, "Who singlehandedly managed to get this entire village interested in Mormonism? Who was brave enough to try and touch everyone here with God's word? Zombies? That's nothing compared to what I've done so far"

"Yeah I guess, hey wait! What you've done so far?"

"Yeah me"

"Are you kidding me Elder Price? You sang a song about Joseph Smith and got a book shoved up your ass! That does not count as getting villagers interested and spreading the word of god in hard to reach places"

Elder Davis snorted but was silenced by the look of ice that greeted him on Kevin's face.

"Arnold you are the bravest man I know" Nabalungi looked adoringly up at his eyes, "If anyone can find a way out of this mess it is you". She smiled beautifully and Arnold blushed.

"Let's think practically about these zombies for a second" Elder Church began.

"Oh yeah sure, practically." Poptarts pronounced each syllable, "Let's think practically about the zombies. Psht!"

"Chris what has gotten into you?" Elder Church asked incredulously.

"Yeah Chris did you have some kind of zombie episode in your past we don't know about?" Elder Schrader giggled, "Just turn it off poptarts!" The Elders all laughed, this once serious coping device had long since been abandoned and the missionaries all laughed at themselves when they thought of it now.

"This is not funny! I have seen the zombies and they will come and eat us!" the woman's words silenced the chuckling Mormons and they all stood looking at each other for a few moments. Suddenly Nabalungi gasped "Baba! The huts in the village aren't strong enough to protect anyone!"

She ran for the door but Arnold held her back. "You can't leave" he said firmly but reassuringly added, "He'll be fine. Everyone in the village will. Why were you outside by yourself anyway?"

She pulled herself in close to Arnold's comforting chest and breathed deeply to calm herself. "I was actually coming to see you"

"At this time of night? It's lights out soon" Connor reminded her back in his District Leader mode he'd found so hard to shift.

"I would have climbed through a window" She said matter of factly. "Arnold leaves his open for me"

The Elders all looked between Nabalungi and Elder Cunningham who was looking unabashed despite everyone discovering his secret.

"This has been going on a while hasn't it?" Elder Davis accused Arnold with a hint of amusement in his voice. Arnold nodded smiling to himself.

"Look at him! He doesn't even care! Kevin why do you let him get away with it?"

"Kevin's always in our room" Poptarts slipped carelessly.

"Chris!" Elder McKinley protested beginning to turn red as all eyes turned to him and Elder Price.

"Why don't you tell everyone where you sleep at night Elder Thomas?" Kevin asked with a tablespoonful of sass on the side.

"Don't you dare" Poptarts warned as all eyes returned to him.

"He's in here. On the couch. With James." Kevin continued to tell the group.

All eyes moved to Elder Church who was now fiddling with the end of his tie keeping his head down to hide his blush.

"We just talk" He said quietly.

"I've got it!" Arnold suddenly shouted drawing all the focus back to him. "Naba do you remember that plant you were telling me about, it sounded like ravioli?"

"Razolta Leaves?"

"That's it. Didn't you say that they feed it to rabid dogs to calm them down?"

She widened her eyes, "Arnold that just might work"

"Cos rabies is a disease of the brain and they're kinda like zombies so I thought-"

He was interrupted by a passionate kiss on the lips. "You are brilliant!" Nabalungi exclaimed when the kiss broke apart.

"How on earth did you think of that Arnold?" Connor asked genuinely curious at Elder Cunningham's unexpected brainwave.

"Well, while you lot were arguing about who sleeps where and with who I was thinking about Plants vs Zombies."

"OMGosh! I love Plants vs Zombies!" Elder Schrader enthused, "It's so addictive, I have nearly all the upgrades and everything. Well obviously I haven't played in a while but I still…" He trailed off as he became aware of the Elders looks.

"What is plants vs zombies?" Nabalungi looked confused to her boyfriend glancing back a little worriedly at Elder Schrader.

"It doesn't matter, so where do we find the leaves?"

Nabalungi pondered for a moment before her face fell. "The only place I can think of would be in Gotswana's hut."

"But that's…that's outside. With the…the…zombies" Elder Church whispered the last word, timidly shrinking in on himself.

"That's it we're screwed"

Connor didn't even bother to call Poptarts out on his language this time. He was probably right after all.

"Well" Kevin spoke up after a long silence, "Some of us will just have to go outside and get it"

"You can't. I forbid it"

"You can't forbid me to do anything Connor"

"As your district leader I can. Plus it's after curfew and you would be breaking rule 23"

"Since when did you start caring about the rules"

"Since when breaking them might kill you!"

"Guys guys!" Elder Michaels interrupted.

"Sorry Connor"

"Sorry Kevin"

"Does this mean I can-?"

"No"

"We could equip ourselves with some weapons, go out in a group and hope for the best" Elder Neeley offered.

A blood curdling scream rattled through the room leaving its haunting echo behind. The Elders shared a collective gulp. It sounded like a human scream that time, it was different to the moans they had heard earlier.

"Right so, any volunteers for the mission of death?" despite his stoic attitude Poptarts was shaking, although barely noticeable, and had moved over to James to hold his hand. An unsurprising silence followed his question and everyone looked to the floor to avoid catching a fellow cowardly eye.

"Let's draw lots" Elder Davis suggested finally. There was a general muttering of agreement, though each Elder realised that without volunteering there was the chance that they would pick the short straw. Elder McKinley collected a bundle of loose threads from the worn carpet on the floor and ripped a few ends off until five strands were shorter than the others. He arranged them in his hand so that only the tips were showing.

"Ummm, Elder McKinley, I have to go anyway so I should probably hold the lots. Then you can pick one yourself"

"Wait, why do you have to go?" Arnold held his girlfriend closer in their protective embrace.

"You will not be able to find Gotswana's in the dark but I know the village so well I could find my way there with my eyes closed"

"Well then I'm going too"

None of the Mormons made a move to stop him. Internally they all thought, one less chance for me to be picked. Nabalungi took the threads in her hand removing one of the shorter ones which she handed to Arnold to hold and held them out to the group.

Chris squeezed James's hand and they both moved forward slowly together and each took an end of thread with their free hand. They shared a look before both pulling them from Nabalungi's palms. Chris's sigh of relief alerted James to their luck allowing him to open his eyes from where they had been tightly shut in painful trepidation. They moved away allowing another Elder to come forward and take their place clutching tightly to the long strands.

Elder Zelder was next, yanking his chosen thread out with an intake of breath. Again he found his piece of string to be long. A sigh of relief for him caused the other Elders to begin to worry. The odds were against them now.

There was a noticeably longer gap between the picking of lots before Connor stepped forward. He saw Kevin cross his fingers and close his eyes. His breathing had quickened and he could feel his heart racing but he stood strong as he drew out a string. It didn't take long to pull it out because it was short. Kevin opened his eyes and saw the string. "Well that's it I'm going too"

"No Kevin, I'll be fine. We'll be gone for less than ten minutes I bet"

"Connor" Kevin began taking the Elder's hands in his, "Do you honestly think that I'd let you go out there without letting me protect you? I made a promise. Plus I can't let Arnold look like a hero, what with him going with Nabalungi and everything"

Connor smiled and the pair shared a sweet kiss which for a brief period made the situation seem much more manageable for all of those present. Seeing their district leader calm and collected had a rub off effect on the elders. Few of the elders ever really appreciated how perfect Elder McKinley was as their leader.

The lot picking went on until Nabalungi, Arnold, Kevin, Connor, Elder Neeley and Elder Davis were prepared to leave on a new sort of mission and Chris, James, Elder Zelder, Elder Schrader, Elder Michaels were relieved to be left behind.

"I guess we'll need weapons or something" Elder Davis was uncertain, none of the Mormons had ever handled a weapon that could do any real damage. Arnold, already full of surprises that night wasn't showing any signs of relenting yet. "I think I have some weapons which we could use" he said matter of factly.

"What?" Connor was still disapproving.

"Now don't get too excited, I've been smuggling some things in that we aren't really supposed to have"

"Now if it wasn't for the current circumstances I would be very disappointed in you Elder"

"Where do you think Kevin gets his coffee? And I've never seen you complain about him drinking it"

"Yeah Connor, you never call Kevin out about his caffeine habit" Poptarts said indignantly.

Connor felt a small blush colour his cheeks. "It makes him smell nice" he smiled sheepishly, then noticing several Elders roll their eyes he changed tack, "These weapons Arnold?"

Arnold nodded and kissed Nabalungi on the forehead before leaving for his room leaving the nervous Elders waiting of his return.


	3. Chapter 3

Arnold returned with a battered shoe box. The Elders all crowded round to watch as he took the lid off. The looks of curiosity were soon replaced with disappointment as the contents were revealed.

"Lightsabers?" Kevin was clearly unimpressed, "You expect us to fight off a zombie invasion with lightsabers?"

"Sure why not?"

"Because they're not real Arnold! They're toys!"

"No offence Arnold, but lightsabers are hardly contraband" Connor added.

Elder Cunningham shrugged, set the box down and pulled out one of the lightsabers. He pressed a button and with a tinny whooshing sound, a green stream of plastic light shot out one end. He twirled it with practised hands before pressing the button again to turn it off.

Nabalungi was watching wide eyed with excitement, obviously she had never seen a lightsaber before let alone an expert handle one with such dexterity.

"They look perfect for fighting zombies and they will help us see the way."

Arnold looked pretty pleased with himself and handed her one of the weapons still in the box. She held tight with both hands, pressed the button and yelped as blue shot out one end.

Arnold put his hands round hers and helped her guide it with some simple movements. "You're a natural" he said proudly.

There were three lightsabers in the box, only enough for half of them. He looked to Elder McKinley for help as to how to divvy them up.

"You and Nabalungi take two, that leaves one. Elder Davis you're pretty wily, why don't you take the last one?" Elder Davis not wanting to be left without a weapon, however useless it may be, obliged.

He picked it out the box gave it a few swings and promptly dropped it. He picked it up with an uneasy chuckle.

"But what will you use? You can't go out there empty handed"

"I have an idea, hang on a sec" Kevin left the room leaving the confused Elders behind to hear him scuffle about in another room.

Several resounding bangs and crashes later caused Connor to call out in worry, "Kevin honey, is everything ok?"

Kevin appeared in the doorway his arms full of about 30 hairspray cans. He emptied them out onto the sofa and went over to a draw to pull out a few lighters.

"I had a few extra a hairspray cans"

"A few?" Chris intoned.

"Spray them over the lighters and voila, a home made flame thrower" he glared at Chris, "You may thank me later"

"Where on earth did you learn that?" Connor looked admiringly at his boyfriend.

"Mormon summer camp"

"You did not learn that at Mormon summer camp!"

"Well maybe it wasn't part of the activity schedule but that is where I learnt it"

"Well there's no need to elaborate"

Kevin undid his belt and slid it off laying it face down on the sofa. He proceeded to slot 10 of the hairspray cans round his waist in a sort of flame throwing utility belt.

He motioned for Elder McKinley and Elder Neeley to follow suit. When their home made zombie killing belts were in place they all picked up a lighter.

Elder Davis cast his eyes down at the lightsaber still in his hand which was now seeming more and more ineffectual.

"Ok. Is everybody ready to go?" Naba asked the group.

"Could we wait just one sec please?" Kevin dashed back into the bedroom area of the mission centre. He was gone less than a minute. "Ok I'm ready to go"

"Did you just gel your hair to go and fight zombies?" Chris smirked

"I want to die pretty"

"Ok first off no one is going to die" Connor said firmly, "And secondly, you look pretty without the hair gel Kev I tell you daily"

"Yeah you use so much it's disgusting"

"Shut up Poptarts, I never said he wasn't pretty with hair gel only that he was pretty without it. Kevin's pretty all the time. In fact-"

"Can we please go now?" Naba was standing poised and ready, the lightsaber lit up in her hands, a determined look on her face.

Kevin lifted the table away from the door and set it down. "Will you manage to put it back when we're gone?"

Elder Church rolled his eyes, "We'll be fine Kevin"

"Wait you're gonna lock us out?" Elder Davis looked more frightened now the prospect of leaving was upon them.

"We'll just knock when we get back"

"And we'll be quicker than answering the door than Kevin was" Poptarts added.

"Good luck" Elder Church said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster and the other elders all murmured similar sentiments.

"Elder Schrader?" Elder Neeley spoke to his companion, "If I don't come back" He paused trying to find the right words and ignoring the looks that Connor was giving him about mentioning dying. "Just make sure that everyone who would need to find out finds out, ok?"

Elder Schrader nodded sympathetically and waved down the other Elders curious looks. 'Later' he mouthed.

The group of Elders waiting to venture out into the zombie infested village took a collective breath and steeled themselves.

"I'll take away the table as quickly as possible so you're not unguarded for too long. Ready?"

Kevin moved to the door and picked up the table. Connor tentatively played with the handle and then opened it catching a warm evening breeze.

The group filed out and the Elders left behind shut the door behind them almost too evenly. Each member gripped their respective weapon all their senses heightened, the eery silence serving only to make them all much jumpier.

Their mission had officially begun.


	4. Chapter 4

The few moments spent in stillness felt eerily quiet. Arnold tried to keep his breathing quiet and they all struggled to more as little as possible. Then they heard the moan. Much clearer and closer than it had been from inside, they saw the thing just metres away emerging from the undergrowth.

It was moving slowly taking unsteady steps towards them and the group were just staring at it.

"Well at least it's not an I Am Legend style zombie" Arnold breathed a sigh of relief then realising how close the zombie was to them took a few terrified steps backwards.

"Should we just hit it?" Naba asked a hint of fear trembling in her voice.

The zombie was just out of arms length now and Elder Davis had begun to whimper.

Elder Neeley stepped forward and began poking it with his lightsaber. Arnold took a brave step forward, swung and missed sending his weapon flying off to the side. He retreated behind Naba who was frozen.

The zombie was now close enough to touch and the very real danger of the situation closed in. Connor felt his heart thumping painfully hard against his chest. "Somebody do something!" He shouted.

Kevin took the cap off his hairspray and began spraying. Lighting the lighter, the elders watched in what felt like slow motion as he brought the fire to the spray. As he made a connection a stream of flame shot out hitting the zombie squarely in the face.

A tense few seconds followed before the zombie collapsed before them. Naba breathed heavily and moved slowly, beginning to recover from the shock. She poked at it tentatively with her lightsaber revealing two shiny holsters of bullets looped round the zombies shoulders.

"Oh my gosh, they know how to use weapons!" Elder Davis whimpered.

"No, it's one of the general's men from the next village over" Naba said taking a closer look at the zombies disfigured face, "This is what he must have been wearing when he was...transformed"

"That's good, at least it wasn't anyone we know" the party turned to look at Connor surprised at the statement, "I can't believe I just said that"

"It's ok" Kevin put his arm over Connor's shoulders, "I know what you meant"

"This plant" Elder Davis questioned Naba while Arnold fished in the bushes for his lightsaver, "Will it cure them? How do we get them to eat it?"

"We have to keep moving, we'll work things out when we're safe"

There were mutterings of agreement, no one wanted to be left out here unprotected for long.

"I just hope they're ok back home" Kevin glanced back at the mission hut which could just about still be seen through the dark.

Meanwhile back in the living room of the mission centre, Elder Michaels and Elder Church were limply holding some cards while Chris sat on the sofa and chewed his nails.

"When will they be back?"

"I don't know" Elder Church nervously rolled a card between his fingers. A slight rustling in the leaves outside caused him to tense slightly until the breeze had passed.

"What if they start to attack here?"

"They won't"

"How do you know?"

"I don't"

"What do we do now?"

"We wait"

"Stop being so dramatic James" Elder Schrader cut in, "Jeez it will all be fine"

"I think not" Elder Church said darkly.

"James!" Elder Michaels threw a card at him, "Somebody change the subject"

"Ok fine. Who do you need to tell if Elder Neeley dies Eric?"

"What are you talking about?" Elder Schrader said guardedly.

"Before he left, he said 'make sure everyone who needs to find out finds out'. So who needs to find out?"

"Umm…his mom?"

"It wasn't really his mom was it Elder Schrader?" Elder Zelder said patronisingly a slight smile twitching at the corner of his mouth.

"No I mean yes I mean-"

"We'll force it out of you"

"Oooh I love guessing games!" Chris had stopped biting his nails and shifted on the sofa, "Come sit next to me Eric". He patted the space next to him with a smile that made Elder Schrader wish he was outside with the zombies instead.

"You do realise that I'm not going to be answering your questions"

"Is it his girlfriend?"

"…no"

Elder Church, Elder Michaels and Elder Zelder responded immediately, dropping their cards and surrounding Elder Schrader grinning.

"Tell me more!"

"This isn't frickin Grease Chris!" James laughed.

"Mormon lovin' had Neeley a blast! Mormon lovin' happened so faaaa-aast!"

"What are you doing?" Eric asked, not amused at all.

"Neeley met a girl crazy for hiiieeeiiiim!"

"Stop it Chris"

"She met a…she?" He paused looking at Elder Schrader expectantly.

"Paige" He sighed.

"Paige met a boy cute as can be!" He raised his eyebrows on the word cute and the other elders burst into laughter.

"Neeley's going to kill me" Elder Schrader muttered.

"Mormon days driftin' away, to uh-oh those Mormon nights" He winked at the group who continued to laugh despite Eric's ice cold facial expressions.

"You're quite the singer Chris" James said through the giggles.

"Oh come on!" Eric looked at the other elder's smiling faces incredulously, "You can't honestly be finding this funny?"

"This is hilarious" Elder Zelder pointed to Chris who was now doing a strange interpretive dance as Elder Michaels joined in with the wella wella's. He began clapping along with Elder Church as they also joined in with a rousing chorus.

Elder Schrader slumped unimpressed on his hand wishing the return of the other elders, but as he watched the full on dance number now occurring in the living room, he was also dreading it. Elder Neeley was going to be so pleased.


	5. Chapter 5

The tiniest noises were now making the elders left back in the mission hut jump. A screech owl, probably several hundred metres away, its cry faint, caused Chris to leap a few inches into the air as it called.

James Church laid a hand on his shoulder and firmly guided him back to a seated position on the sofa.

"You ok?"

"They've been out there a while."

"They'll be fine. They have Nabulungi with them and if anyone can fight zombies I bet its her."

Chris nodded and picked up The Book from the table. He flicked through it, the flimsy paper crinkled in the evening heat.

"There aren't any zombies in here," He said a little forlornly. James shook his head and picked up a book of Arnold.

"Arnold must have written something about zombies in here." He began to rifle through the pages, "I wish he'd added an index to this thing."

"Jesus was kind of a zombie." Eric Schrader looked up from the card game he and Elder Zelder were still trying to continue. He ignored James's raised eyebrow and the look he shared with Chris.

"Well he died and then came back to life. Technically for three days he was undead, therefore a zombie."

A low gravelly moan shot through the night, the floor almost rumbling beneath them.

"I don't think these zombies are Jesus," Elder Michaels shook his head, "These zombies need him."

"We can't just sit here." Elder Zelder looked around at the group, "We have to do something."

"Like what?"

Eric's question was met with silence and finally Zelder sighed and shrugged, returning to sorting out his cards.

"Here's something!" James said suddenly, putting on his glasses and leaning closer into Arnold's scrawl to read it. "Saint Sean, a man of great bravery and strength, pleaseth the lord greatly through his mastery of those not on earth or the celestial kingdom."

"I don't understand." Chris wined peering over James's shoulder.

"Let me finish," James said patiently, "Descendents of the wicked Lamanites, these walkers of God's kingdom, known as zombies were defeated by Saint Sean. He walked among them like a brother thus confusing them and bringing his companions to safety."

"I still don't understand."

"Neither do I," James admitted, "I thought it would become clearer but it didn't."

They were interupted by another strange noise. Chris looked around scared until he realised it was just Eric yawning.

"It's late. There's not much more we can do here, we should go to bed."

"With them still out there?" Elder Michaels looked at him shocked, shuddering as a gust of wind howled and rattled at the flimsy windows.

"Someone should stay up to let them back in." James suggested diplomatically.

"Can't we just leave a key under a flowerpot?" Elder Zelder's idea was met with stony silence.

"I'll do it, I'm not tired," Chris said, planting himself more firmly in his seat and opening the book on his lap.

The other elders nodded, now realising how tired they were once the initial shock and adrenaline had worn off.

Elder Michaels and Elder Zelder made their way back to their room, standing close and protectively to each other. Once inside they closed the curtains and pushed the beds against the door. Then wordlessly they pushed them closer together. They wanted to sleep closer than an arms reach that night.

It wasn't long before there was a stifled knock at the door. They shared a glance before opening it a crack. They weren't sure what they were expecting but were relieved for it to just be Elder Schrader at the door.

He was wrapped up in his sheets, as pale as his face. "I heard some noises. Can I sleep here tonight? It's just a bit quiet in that room alone."

Elder Michaels nodded then moved over on the bed to make room for him.

"You do realise," Elder Zelder began, "That we're going to spend the whole night reminding you that when Elder Neeley comes back, he's not going to be happy with what you told us."

Elder Michaels grinned under the covers and scooched over so all three of them could fit comfortably on the bed.

Chris jumped as he heard footsteps behind him then exhaled as he noticed it was only James.

"Couldn't sleep?"

"I came to give you a bit of company."

Chris smiled at the gesture then moved over to make some room for him on the sofa.

"How're you feeling?" James asked, leaning in closer than he would have done normally if there were others present.

"A bit guilty. I think it's my fault everyone's so hyped up."

"There are zombies Chris, what do you expect?"

A high pitched scream from somewhere in the distance was loud enough to shatter through the hut, displacing a mug on the table. It fell to the floor with a loud thud causing both Chris and James to jump and grab hold of each other.

After a moments pause, they both laughed nervously at each other, realising how close they were. Neither made an effort to pull apart.

"It's a shame there's zombies outside, there was going to be a meteor shower tonight," Chris said finding himself hugging James closer than would be considered appropriate.

"How do you know that?"

"Kalimba told me. She says she follows the stars and that there's always a meteor shower on this day, once every four years."

"I wish I could see that." James found his voice dropping, not needing to raise it due to their proximity.

"Maybe we still can," Chris said hopefully, the idea of watching a meteor shower with James now a very desirable concept.

They shared a glance before both getting up and creeping slowly to the back door.

"Just five minutes."

"Five minutes." James reiterated, his hand ghosting the door handle.

"We'll stand really close so if anything happens we can just come straight back in."

"It's a fail safe plan." James agreed. He still hesitated before turning the handle, then did so, the pair of them walking out simultaneously.

The heat hit them straight away, like an oppressive blanket, smothering and thick. For such a dark evening, it sure was boiling hot.

The white walls of the mission hut reflected the suns rays throughout the day so it was nice and cool during the evening. Foil on top of most of the roofs in the village, an idea the missionaries had brought with them, helped reflect the heat also.

This meant that being indoors was copeable and pleasant. Elder McKinley wouldn't dare think about letting any of his boys out in the heat of the day anyway. They all said it was because he burnt very easily and so resented everyone else from being out in the mid day sun.

James and Chris found each other's hands and stopped the other shaking by holding firmly.

"She said it would begin just before midnight."

"That's soon. We'll be absolutely fine nothing to worry abo-"

James was interupted by a wail, incredibly close to them, its source invisible in the curtain of darkness. James turned on his heel his hand dragging Chris to get back in the hut.

What he didn't count on, was the foot he was using to keep the door propped open, spinning out from under him causing the door to close with a resounding click.

Chris looked at James his eyes wide them back to the door. He yanked at the handle but it had no give. He pushed it, still no use. The wail, which must belong to some creature only a few feet away, sounded again.

James took a few steps back and ran at the door with his shoulder. It shuddered but still there was no give.

"What do we do?" Chris was shaking his voice shrill. James glanced around desperately for some way to enter but found none. His eyes wandered upwards towards the roof.

"Quick!" He held folded his hands together beneath Chris's foot to give him a leg up. The mission hut was one story and so he could easily climb. James took a running jump, Chris's hand extended to him to help him scrabble up the wall.

As they both sat panting their feet dangling over the edge, they breathed heightened sighs of relief. They squinted in the darkness to see what ever it was slink away into the bushes with a rustle before it was gone and there was silence.

Nevertheless, it was clear to both of them, although unspoken, that neither of them was going to be jumping down anytime soon.

Chris turned to James, face flushed at the exertion.

"Now what?"


End file.
